The Last Embrace

the last hug

Step! Step! Down we went the stairs
Meager steps I took, denying what was about to transpire
The final hug, the last act I did, the last time I saw your face
An impassive face and a fake smile I gave
As I uttered the phrase “mentext ka ah” (text me)
I discerned then what was coming
And then it hit me like an ammunition, like an acid
The anguish, the sorrow, the despair of adieu

Looking at you in the face, I avoided like a plague
As I feared I would deceive myself and shed vulnerability
Feebleness, tears, and sadness I did not want to flaunt
The moment was supposed to be a jubilant goodbye, after all
But who was I kidding
A fictitious smile, a dazzling face I could falsify
However, a heart splinterized by the word goodbye
The sorrowful emotions, I could not obscure or fabricate

Slowly like a frigid breeze, I started walking away from you
Numbness I felt, dullness I perceived and bleakness I saw
I pleaded that someone would save me from this excruciating nightmare
But the world remained stone deaf from my poignant howl
My conscious mind barren, my heart broken, my soul shattered
Few more footsteps and I closed the gate
With a regret of not giving you a lasting embrace
An endless squeeze to get me going as I journeyed that is

As I sit here, tapping my keyboard
Like a movie scene your memories keep rolling
Wickedness and crypticness, you bellowed from the beginning
Your peculiarities and weird habit of grinding your teeth when you sleep
Had grown on me and I learned to acknowledge
Standards for a guy be damned, that I do believe now
You had flaws and temperaments I could not fathom
But because it was you, I learned to understand them

Leave your memories behind, I must achieve fast
To alleviate the singe of my wounded heart
Extricate you from my system, I must attain
A herculean task but I have to at least attempt
Forget and move on as the cliché says
All the haps and good karmas, I undoubtedly need them
The courage to let you go to free myself, I must muster
I will say it once again with conviction, so long!!
For tomorrow I will rise and start a new beginning

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