Society has imposed the definition of beauty among women not only to being skinny but also to being hairless in the hidden crevices of the body. Who ever came up with this ridiculous idea of “having hairless armpits, legs and bikini area is sexy” had nothing better to do than condemn women who already have enough on their plates. There is something about shaving these unwanted body hair that irritates the living hell out of me. Having to endure excruciating menstrual cramps every month is already more than enough reason for me to denounce being a woman in my next life. That being said, I admit that I have become a victim of this hideous belief of “hairless pretty” the moment I decided to grab the closest razor I could find and started shaving these fine, almost invisible hair in my armpits ages ago. I’m guilty of being one of these women who has been brainwashed into believing that having bushy armpits, bumpy legs and pubic area is hideous.
The tedious task of shaving body hair takes most of your time when all you want to do is bask in the glory of hot shower while lathering yourself with vanilla scented gel. Searching for a good shaving cream and the sharpest and cheapest brand of razor blades to use is laborious as well. There is nothing more exasperating than being naked in the shower then suddenly nicking your legs with your newly-bought razor blade because of your clumsiness. Nicking your legs or your pits is expected if you’re not careful with your shaving, but it’s another story if it were your labia you cut. Either you’re going to end up being ship off to the emergency room due to sepsis or worst-case scenario, castrating yourself because of your need to have that hairless pubic area.
Furthermore, not shaving your body hair on days you normally would gives the most horrifying feeling of wanting to just strip your clothes off and start picking every single hair follicle in your skin using tweezers to help ease this torturous, unexplained itchiness. You go apeshit because of the itchiness, lock yourself in the bathroom, slather excessive shaving cream on your pubic area and start brutally shaving undesirable hair in your crotch with vengeance. However, it is completely a different story when you’re on the bus with people around you or in a restaurant with your date. Searching for a private space for you to do emergency shaving is almost impossible. Beside, the last thing you want is to painfully embarrass yourself because you are fiercely scratching your crotch while everybody’s eyes are on you.
Another reason which proves that unshaven body hairs are pathetic roadblocks is when you’re in the middle of making out with someone. You are horny and more than ready to have some “drunk fun” then it suddenly dawns on you that you haven’t done grooming down there for the past couple of weeks. Shit indeed!! This happened some time ago to someone I know, and it was hilarious how she was whining about it until now. The only time she wanted to have sex with a guy she liked was plagued by these unwanted hair sprouting down there for some time. She couldn’t tell him the reason she had to bolt out of the bedroom was because her private area was growing bushes which badly needed trimming.
Indeed, there are convenient ways to get rid of these unwanted body hair other than shaving. These include waxing and laser hair removal which have dominated the aesthetic industry nowadays. However, you cannot deny the fact that these are not pocket-friendly not to mention their effectiveness is only for certain period of time. Additionally, mustering up enough courage to be in dorsal recumbent position totally exposed in someone’s eyes is awkward, uncomfortable, and embarrassing. The last thing you want is for someone other than your partner to be gawking at your private area like you’re a specimen under a microscope. Having said this, I can no longer wait for that day when drug companies produce a pill which inhibits hair growth to specific areas of the body. For sure, I would be the first one lining up at the crack of dawn for this godsent pill.