“Hey, let’s get drunk on Valentine’s Day.” This is a text message I received from a friend of mine who has been single for almost 6 months. I texted her back with glee saying the words “I’m down.” My friend has become so bitter these days now that Valentine’s Day is approaching. For her, this occasion reminds her of the love she gave up six months ago, the love that she thought would last forever but it didn’t for some unknown reason. Can you really blame her? Even I who has been single most of my life can’t stop myself from getting annoyed with the things I see around me since this month started. Everything is either pink or red. I went to London Drugs the other day to buy my weekly dose of chocolates but ended up being disappointed. Why? The aisle I usually go to was adorned with pink and red boxes of chocolates and floral stuffed toys. I found it pathetic buying heart-shaped chocolates for myself that instead of grabbing one, I ended up walking away from the aisle ranting about how ridiculous these things were. There are reasons why I consider Valentine’s Day cumbersome. It’s not like I’m bitter or anything, (ahum!ahum!) it’s more like this day reminds me of the stupid things I did last year on Valentine’s Day, of being a well-known victim of a long-distance unrequited love and of allowing myself to become one for that matter. Having said this, Valentine’s Day sucks and here are my sentiments why it does.
1. You hear a lot of pre-planning sessions for Valentine’s Day from your friends and the people around you. Ok, I get it. You guys are in love and are dying to do something with your special someone. However, for the love of the angels, please don’t drag me into your stupid schemes because I’m not in the least interested. I would rather read my patho book which I despise the most than listen to your monologues about who, where and how you are going to spend your Valentine’s Day. And pluuuueeessss, stop barraging me with stories of how sweet and romantic your special someone is because you will end up being slap on the face for real. I don’t need to know every minute detail about how you spent your trip with your partner last Valentine’s Day. Have the sympathy to reminisce the details with whoever that person is not with someone like me who is unwilling to listen. Besides, I have a well-known aversion to the words “sweet” and “romantic” which I can’t explain myself. So stop triggering my bitchiness before both of us regret pulling each other’s hair out.
2.There will be a day when facebook’s newsfeed is not about “Vhong vs Denice Story” anymore. Prepare your eyes to be bombarded by pictures of roses, chocolates and couple selfies on Valentine’s Day. Aside from this, it will be a dooms day for posting the most numbers of mushy love tags, messages and Valentine’s hashtags among your friends who are apparently in love. As for me, Valentine’s Day is a convincing reason to skip facebook for the first time. Because either I will end up being mentally crippled from reading these recoiling posts on facebook or threatening my friends to stop posting such. A very bad idea indeed as I still want to hang out with my friends when Valentine’s Day is over.
3. Prepare your singlehood to see couples being gaggingly lovey-dovey stalking you wherever you go on February the 14th. It is a tad acceptable to see them holding each other’s hands but it becomes disturbingly obscene when they start sucking each other’s faces like they’re making their own live, porn show. I understand that it is Valentine’s Day but please have the decency to consider the feelings of the single people around you. Go get a room before my single friends end up calling the police to haul your asses into prison due to public indecency. I probably won’t do the task but other people might. It’s your call. 🙂
4. The injustice being inflicted on single people is very conspicuous on Valentine’s Day as well. I went to buy a “thank you” card for someone the other day when I had to do the tedious task of going through every single card among these gazillion Valentine’s Day Cards. I just needed one “thank you” card not sort out these crimson cards which were all over the place. Not only did it took me forever to find that single “thank you” card but also had to restrain myself from grudgingly doodling on these bloody cards because they were taunting the singlehood out of me. It probably doesn’t matter for other people who have someone to give these Valentine’s Day cards to, but it is a different story for myself who doesn’t give a shit about these cards. LOL
They say being in love is corrupting, I mean overwhelming. Aside from the fact that your hormones become out of whack in a good way, having someone who makes you feel special in a thousand ways is not too bad either (Did I say this right?). For the male species out there, give your partners a good reason why they said “yes” to you. Give them roses and chocolates, write them mushy poems and love letters, cook them breakfast, sing the song “My Valentine” to them without embarrassing yourself and shout your undying love to them like it’s nobody’s business. Valentine’s Day is an excuse for you to get overly mushy, so do it with passion and sincerity. Don’t get discouraged by people like me who are pessimistic enough not to see how amazing being in love is. However, I still have to say that for the reasons I mentioned above, please don’t overdo it in front of me. Unleashing my inner bitchiness is not something you want to look forward to. I kid! I kid! 🙂