The Aftermath of “Friends With Benefits” Relationships

Sometimes, no matter how attractive or tempting the fire is, remember not to get too close.

Sometimes, no matter how attractive or tempting the fire is, remember not to get too close.

Love is not something you can control with a switchboard. It can happen anytime and in the worst situation. You might fall in love with the weird person who sits beside you everyday on the bus, the guy with a purple hair who gives you newspaper early in the morning while you’re trying to catch your train, or the person whom you agreed to have “friends with benefits” with. Love is beautiful if reciprocated. However, it becomes a mess if it starts with this ludicrous sexual arrangement a.k.a. “friends with benefits” without being in an actual, intimate relationship. There are tons of reasons why “friends with benefits” relationships never work in the long run. The chance of the people involved eventually dating rarely happens. But if it does, I’m sending a virtual high-five to them as they just avoided the aftermath of a “convoluted relationship” gone wrong drama- the palpable awkwardness, the unending swearing at each other, the hatred, the uncontrollable tears and the childish jealousy to name a few.

You convinced yourself in the beginning that falling in love with this person you are having sex with on a regular basis is very unlikely. However, it just happens for some unexplainable reason. It starts as this uncontrollable lust then it suddenly develops into this cycle of wanting more than sharing his/her bed. You become too clingy, and things start to spiral down. That in spite of your feelings not being reciprocated, you become oblivious to the fact that you are no longer the same person as you used to be. You are pathetically blinded by the emotions of love you created alone. You allow yourself to be vulnerable and fall under the spell of your impulsive emotions to this other person who doesn’t give a shit about you. That ignoring yourself and putting this person’s needs before yours becomes a cycle until the day you realize how mess up you have become. Your heart is now broken, and there is nothing you can do about it except mourn your stupidity. You have known from the beginning that you were  not supposed to fall in love, but you did it anyways. You underestimated the power of love and how love can be cruel at times.

As some of the people I know used to be or are still in this type of vague relationship, I’ll try to be subtle in terms of putting my words together without being judgmental of why they made the decision in the first place. They are my friends after all, and supporting their decisions no matter how ridiculous their reasons are is the least I can do as their loyal friend. How they spend their time with someone behind those doors is none of my business. Having said this, to those who made the fatal mistake of falling in love and getting their hearts broken by the person they are sleeping with, I wish you all the luck. Being heartbroken is not a fun experience to brag about. It gives you chest pain and makes you lose your sanity for a certain period of time. Nevertheless, bear in mind that it takes some time before the real princess or prince charming trudges your way like a boss. He/she not only wants sex from you but also sweeps you off your feet and mends those cracks and scars while creating a mighty bond with you (LOL). I hope this experience is a lesson not to get involved with someone who is horny and only wants a FWB relationship. If you feel like being in a limbo type of relationship, be smart enough to abide by the rules of FWB to avoid burning and scarring yourself again. Otherwise, run away as far as you can the moment you start noticing the signs of being too needy of the devil.


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